I’ve been doing research for this post for the past ten days or so: how to be a bad blog owner. Okay, maybe I’m lying and I’ve just been ignoring my duties as said blog owner. Luckily this isn’t a plant, otherwise it would probably be past the point of saving.
So that my awful lack of an appearance in the wordpress world does not go to waste, I have decided to impart the wisdom I have only just discovered on how to be a bad blog owner. Obviously follow this advice at your peril. It’s a how to in reverse so I’m not promising better things as a result.
So without further ado, here are my four top tips on how to be a bad blog owner/put people off visiting your blog
This is probably the easiest way to be a bad blog owner. By not posting anything new and keeping your site up you are luring the random internet adventurer in only to be disappointed that the last thing you wrote about happened in a slow period of 2006. They’ll promise never to visit your blog again and probably won’t read whatever you wrote on that slow period of 2006. It’s the best poison for a blog.
Write really offensive things that are offensive for offensive’s sake
You may get the odd reproachful or defensive comment back at best. It should just cause most people to switch off your blog straight away especially if you’re offensive things have no sort of actual thought process behind them and are just mean for mean’s sake.
Write about things you’re not interested in
This is the dullest way to be a bad blog owner because basically you suffer to by writing about something you hate. If you write about things you’re not interested in, readers tend to be able to tell and the post won’t get a good response. Writing about something you find boring and stupid and which you’re actually bored by means that your readers will be bored by it too. So basically: if it’s making you yawn and want to switch off, it’ll make potential readers do that same. Perfect way to be a bad blog owner.
Never update your About page
People are nosey and curious creatures. They will usually click on your About page nine times out of ten* Not keeping an About page can be a great way of saying: thanks for visiting, but I don’t want you to know anything about me so buh bye. Obviously good writing will still keep people coming but having an About page just adds to the good blog status which you don’t want to have. Obviously. An About page is like the comfort blanket of your blog. It doesn’t need to even say much but it’s basically the foundation of your blog. I judge a lot of blogs by two or three posts and their About page. Not because I’m judgemental but because that’s how everyone decides who they follow, right?
*Statistics are entirely made up and have just come out of my brain with no research behind it.