Rambles, rants and raves

A lot of opinions spilling out of my brain

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Angry TigerI feel like this. The reason for that is multi-faceted and not very hard to explain. But I won’t explain it because I was once told you should never write when you are consumed with emotion – or you should never write anything that may be seen by others when you are consumed with emotions. The best time to write is when your mind is so quiet that you can hear everything you have ever felt and dreamed of and everything you will feel and dream of. You want your mind to be a blank slate rather than a twisted web where you can’t find beginnings or ends.

I often find it harder to write when I am calm. I like to write when an idea sweeps me up in it like a gigantic wave and I have to swim to keep afloat. But maybe that’s why so many things lie unfinished in my desk drawers or in forgotten folders on my laptop. Once the wave of excitement is gone I’m too scared, too judgemental of my own writing to carry on.

That’s the thing with emotions, it is very easy to get swept up in the moment – that’s no bad thing of course, but it does not bode well for when those emotions pass and you are left with the consequences of following your emotions and thinking of little else. I don’t mean in gestures of love, or crazy moments of adventure or of finally taking that step to do something you’ve always wanted to do. Songs, films and novels are created based on those emotional triggers and catching the magic in them.

But there are times when it is best to think, take a step back and breathe. Soak it in and embrace it without having to significantly alter your life or risk altering it in a negative way.

We are not robots obviously and our emotions help make us the people that we are but it’s also worth embracing the calm – the ‘nothing’ – between those moments of euphoria or sadness or anger. It is, after all, where we live most of our lives; not in the extreme but the in-between. I think we would do well to embrace that and enjoy it too. We may become happier, more balanced and better people. Not everything has to be life and death. Joy, or satisfaction, can come from the medium too.


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When I can’t find the words

When I can’t find the words, or they feel inadequate, I usually look at pictures and other people’s words or go and do something else to see if I can find them.

Sometimes the words will come right to the edge of my brain and then when I try to grab them, they slip away like eels. It leaves me a little confused because I don’t know how to express how I’m feeling and that leaves me with deep thoughts. But I enjoy my time swimming in them.

Today, maybe because I’m tired, I couldn’t catch my words. I stepped away and it didn’t help. I looked at other words and that didn’t help and then I went into my contemplating mood and realised how I was feeling but I still couldn’t find the words that gave those feelings justice. I started randomly browsing and after less than 30 seconds I found an image that described my feelings – in the grand scheme of things – completely.

Azealia Banks by Matt Barnes. Found on piccsy.com

Azealia Banks by Matt Barnes. Found on piccsy.com

I am happy. I am lucky. And, most of all, I am extremely grateful. This picture sums it up very well. Sometimes, I just can’t find the words and there’s no shame in that. An image can speak for itself.


Just for fun

I am not promoting alcoholism or suggesting that whiskey is the answer to life’s problems since everyone knows that cheesecake is. I’m also not suggesting that the key to happiness comes in the form of an alcoholic beverage nor am I trying to force you to have said alcoholic beverage.

I feel I must state all of this because the internet is a weird place and you can put something up like a cool, little infographic that’s just supposed to be a little joke on “social” drinking and the next thing you know you’re apparently an alcoholic that has been in rehab twice.

NOTE: I am not an alcoholic nor have I ever been in rehab. Now that we have everything cleared up – enjoy (the infographic, not the alcohol – or feel free to enjoy alcohol, or don’t. Everything in moderation. Okay I’m going to stop now).


A rant on a stupid image

Stupid QuoteI saw this image on Piccsy.com about three days ago and it annoyed me so much that I have had to write a blog post on it. Reading it, you may not see where my anger lies and my annoyance may say more about me than it does about the damn image but I need to get this off my chest before it makes me yell at someone who doesn’t deserve it.

My issue comes with the second line. The first line is fine: ‘don’t ignore your dreams’ – a beautiful sentiment and one I fully support but the second line makes a judgement on those dreams. ‘Don’t work too much’ sums up in four lovely words what is wrong with so much in today’s world.

Firstly, it indicates that work cannot be a dream. That your dreams can not surround the working world or any sort of professional accomplishment because, after all, to achieve said professional accomplishment working hard is exactly what you need to do.This then ties in to the mentality that work is crap and you only do it for the money. This may be true for many people, but it removes aspiration and inspiration. It means a person will never want to grow professionally because they feel it is just means to an end. But the truth is that you spend most of your adult life working, if you can’t be happy at work and feel like you can grow then you won’t be happy at work and you won’t do as well. It means you won’t progress and that mood will affect your personal life. It means happiness can never be properly attained because you don’t feel properly fulfilled. Basically, in my opinion, it’s a ridiculous way to live.

To rule out work as a means to an end is the same as ruling out living in a home because you spend more time out of it. Sounds stupid right?

To finish this pointless quote with ‘Be Happy’ further tries to push the point that to be happy you should spend your life playing around, being so outspoken you’re classed as rude and spending time with your friends. Happiness is a lot of things and work should not be dismissed as something that can make people happy. Doing this just enforces a lazy culture of wanting something for nothing and that the easy road is the best one.

Work does not have to be tiresome, boring and a dark tunnel. Work can be stimulating, enjoyable and fulfilling. It can be the cause of happiness and for some people, there reason for happiness.

Many people already see work as a chore when they should see it as an opportunity to be better, get better and do better. Stupid, pointless, ridiculous quotes like this subliminally enforce the message and that is why this picture has infuriated me so. It is not inspiring, and just because a few short sentences are placed prettily on top of a beautiful background does not make them so, especially when the best you can do is ‘Be Happy’ – aw thanks genius – I wasn’t sure what to do with my life until I saw this.



A little bit of hope

Today a very obvious conclusion settled atop my head. Do not laugh when you hear what I have to say, we all have to learn different lessons at different paces.

My lightbulb moment is this: money is not what makes the world go round, hope is. Hope is what is consistently sold to us, hope is what makes us keep going and what keeps the world ticking over.

It is hope that makes people buy lottery tickets every single week even though their chances of winning are a million to one. It is hope that keeps people (though not as many as it should be) voting for a better country. It is hope that makes people buy that exercise video or those new clothes the mannequin is wearing.

A little bit of hope goes a long way and it is enough, even a flash of it, to help people carry on. Without hope, there is a sense of pointlessness. Hope is all it takes to help people get up in the morning and carry on their day. The hope of a better tomorrow is all it needs.

But there has to be more than hope for happiness. Hope is an emotion that looks to the future and forgets the present. It dismisses it as not being good enough which does not bode well for a healthy mentality.

A little bit of hope is good and a boost to the mind. If hope is all you have though, then you’re not really living, you’re just waiting for something better to come along.


Free of shorthand. Normality resumes.

So it’s no big secret that I have always wanted to live in a musical. Not be in a musical but actually live in one. Shorthand revision has kind of destroyed my life and yesterday I received the best news in the world, I passed my 100 words per minute. It is probably the biggest achievement of my life.

I mean I’m proud of the driving license and the fact I was able to save enough to buy my car (despite it being old enough to be someone’s grandmother – if it were a human obviously), my degree and my wonderful job and the fact I’ve been able to keep some great friends despite my inability to hold it together and organise a meet up without planning four things for the same time. But shorthand was bloody hard and I probably had more breakdowns revising and practising for my 100wpm than I have ever had in my life, and that is saying something – I was pretty dramatic as a teenager.

Anyway I’ve passed and I’m so happy that I don’t quite believe it’s happened. I keep checking my results to make sure it hasn’t changed and so far, so good.

My pass means that I am slowly returning to the real world where I actually have free time to do what I want and where I don’t have to finish work and then go and work some more. It’s nice, I forgot what life without revision feels like. It’s pretty sweet and the thing that’s really nice is I am spending time with my family again and once I feel I have caught up with them, I’ll be able to catch up with my friends. It’s nice to have time. Time to do what I want and to have spare time to ‘waste’ doing nothing at all.

Blogging can now resume and I’m going to try really hard to get back to how it was before I fell off the face of the Earth and landed in Shorthand Land (do not let the rhyme fool you into thinking it is a happy place). I feel like Andy in The Shawshank Redemption (SPOILER) after he crawls through all that shit to escape prison and he looks up to the sky as the rain cleans it all off. Shorthand is my metaphorical shit, I am Andy, and my pass is the rain cleaning it all off me.

Here’s to hard work paying off, the desperate determination to achieve and everything working out in the end. Shorthand is done, 100 words per minute completed and normality resumes.



This is how I feel.

Happy CatToday is a happy day because it is Friday. I have finished my exams. The boy is on his way. And for the first time in weeks, I can see the sun and a blue sky (it doesn’t matter if it’s still cold). I feel like this cat.

This isn’t a normal post however, but a little notice and a quick hello. Apologies for the lack of regular blogging but exams, unfortunately, had to take priority. I’ll have a normal rant or ramble up this weekend and normal blogging will resume again after that.

Happy Friday!