Rambles, rants and raves

A lot of opinions spilling out of my brain


Leave a comment

A big ramble trying to talk about little things

This time last year I was in New York having the Best Time Ever. This time last year I was posing for a photo outside the New York Public Library (a must for book-worms like me) and still had a whole New York adventure to live out.

Now I am sitting in my parent’s kitchen blogging. The sun is shining, the pup is eating my slipper which is still on my foot and the cats are sleeping in the living room. I am also a reporter on my local newspaper which continues to thrill me with joy even when it’s stressing me out.

It’s funny how things change. The boy and I were planning to go travelling this September but then the opportunity for the job I am in came along and I had to grab it with both hands – the same way I intended to do with travelling. It was a great way of getting on the ladder and learning the ropes the only way you can when you’re in a job. The boy was happy to postpone the travelling and so was I and I still don’t regret my part in that decision after six months. I still plan on going travelling but it won’t be for a little while yet and I’m happy with that.

If you’d told me that last year when I was posing for a photo outside the New York Public Library I would have probably laughed in your face and been a little dismissive. Travelling is something I have always wanted to do, and am determined to do – I would have seen no other way than doing it as soon as possible and that would have been when the boy graduated.

But things change. Opportunities come up that are too good to miss and you’d be doing yourself a disservice if you didn’t grab onto them with every bit of strength and vigour you had.

I am a planner and it is often difficult to accept that my plans must change. I am also stubborn so this adds to my hesitance of not wanting changes in my plans.

I like change that comes from stepping out of your comfort zone, doing something different and pushing yourself so I plan to do things like that but I don’t appreciate the other type of change that makes you stay right where you are and make the most out of it – milk it until it’s dry and then you can move on. That is the type of change that came in January when a work experience placement turned into a interview for a proper reporting job. I would have been stupid not to take it, even if it wasn’t in my plans and I think that’s why I don’t regret it. It’s an exciting change but a different one to what I was planning. Maybe if it had been a compromise I would think differently, I don’t know.

So right now, I’m not in NY ticking off a dream come true (I have wanted to travel there since I read about it books and realised it wasn’t make-believe) and daydreaming of a travel adventure. Right now I am ticking off a job as a reporter on a local paper – another dream come true.

Just because everything doesn’t happen at once, doesn’t mean it won’t. We leave in an age of immediacy and sometimes we lose sight of the fact that though human life doesn’t last as long as certain other creatures on this planet we have a long while to make the most out of it. We are living longer, healthier lives and we need to make the most out of all of it – not just the first 20 years.

Right now, I feel very, very lucky. I feel like I am milking life and it’s a good feeling. Often in society we’re made to feel narcissistic for bigging ourselves or the lives we lead up but that can’t be good for us emotionally. That means we look for dissatisfaction and unease and stress. So, here I am saying I am happy with life  – though this week has been a little like drowning in mud – it happens. Not every day can be perfect.

This blog post has little meaning, or significance. It is just a person declaring she is happy. A person accepting that change happens and embracing it because it’s another adventure. Not the same one, or a better one, but a different one that’s just as exciting.


6 Comments

Friendship

In my twenty-one (soon to be twenty-two) years on this planet I have made my fair share of friends. I have also lost contact with the majority of this fair share of friends. Am I sad about it? No. Do I regret those friendships? No. Would I try to rekindle them again? Probably not.

People see friendships as something you’ll always have. Once you’re friends, you will always be friends and I find that, frankly, a little absurd. My closest group of friends (there are five of us) are the ones I’ve known since I was 13. We stay in contact regularly and try to meet up as often as we can and before we start missing each other. We do that because we like each other even when we don’t.

I then have the group of friends who I’ve met recently, through my NCTJ or university, who I try and stay in contact with fairly regularly and I have one or two childhood friends that even though I don’t stay in contact with, we’ll always be friends and when we meet up – it’s like it always has been because we grew up together and bonds like that are just too darn strong.

Then there are the other friends who I was really close to but lost along the way. Through a lack of staying in touch, through a falling out, or just through a natural occurrence or our lives taking different paths and us not feeling it was worth the effort to continue those friendships. That doesn’t make the friendship we did have any less special and it doesn’t take away from everything we shared while we were friends but, like many human relationships, some have their best by dates and there’s no point trying to deny that.

I would not take back any of the friendships I had and lost. I learnt a lot from them and even the ones that ended badly had their fabulous moments that are now a part of the fabric of my life. It doesn’t mean I want to rekindle those friendships even those that didn’t end on bad terms but just fizzled out. I believe they did so for a reason and if you stopped trying then there’s no point flogging a dead horse.

It’s nice to keep in touch and say hi once in a while if you cross paths again but there’s no point pretending to be back in the golden years of the friendship you once had. Just because you are no longer close to someone doesn’t detract from the fact you once were.

It sounds horribly superficial but like clothes there are those you keep forever because they are too much a part of your life to let go, there are those pieces of clothes that you once were obsessed by and completely loved but are now ready to give away to charity and let it be enjoyed by someone else and there are those that you keep but never really wear apart from every once in a while when it feels good to be nostalgic.

It doesn’t mean you’ll look back on the pictures of you wearing the clothes you gave away and shudder that you actually tried it, and you shouldn’t remember those clothes and regret them happening – they were right for the time, they worked then, and they made you happy in that moment. They stopped doing that and it meant letting them go was the best thing but it doesn’t mean you need to go back to the charity shop and buy it again to try once more. You’re not the same. Things change. People grow and relationships will sometimes have to drift, break and end as a result. It’s no bad thing, just a part of human life.


1 Comment

Life is a bicycle

I am currently riding my life bicycle. It’s wobbling like crazy and I’m trying very hard not to fall off. I am trying not to focus on what’s just behind me as it is making me shakier than any good sturdy cyclist should be able to cope with. I am trying to look ahead but my balance isn’t quite good enough ever since I hit that massive bump in the road. Right now I’m looking down and focusing on regaining that balance. It’s all I can do to make sure I don’t hit the ground and hurt myself.

Wish me luck.


4 Comments

Good things come to those who don’t give up

So my endless job applications and searching for work experience with continuos rewriting of emails, CVs and cover letters can finally come to an end. At least until January.

It was kind of like when you’re expecting a bus, then it’s late and three come at once. That totally happened with my very long work experience search. Still, I’m very happy to be in such a lovely predicament, (that isn’t a predicament at all).

Although my comparison between my ending experience search to bus waiting does indicate some sort of waiting of good things to happen, I want to contradict myself. Because this is my blog and I can and also because I think it’s a ridiculous notion and sayings like that just lure us into a false sense of what I like to call: ‘the way things are.’

If good things came to only those who waited then nothing would ever happen. It’s like expecting a ripple in a pool of water when no one is allowed to touch it. Ripples only happen when something or someone makes them happen. The same goes for life, especially with things that you can, in at least a small way, control.

I had just waited for these opportunities to present themselves, they never would have. They would have gone to another person that had put themselves in the path of said opportunity. Maybe unknowingly but still there – just in case.

Good things come to those who don’t give up. That create the possibilities and opportunities. Waiting seems a little silly when you have so many people actively pursuing those good things while you do nothing.

If you want something great to happen, then it is necessary to help that happen. You have to do everything you can, not give up and keep on trying. It may not happen straight away and a little waiting may be involved until your actions bear fruit but it’ll be far more likely to happen than if you’re playing a passive role in finding those opportunities.

Competition today is too high for us to simply wait for good things. Admittedly, I am massively impatient. I need to keep busy. If you told me I had to do nothing but wait, you may as well have told me you’ll lock me in a room full of cheesecakes and I am not allowed to eat a single one. Essentially some sort of crazy, twisted torture.

In my humble opinion I think that if you spend your life waiting for things to happen or to come to you, then you’ll be spending way too much time doing so. If you go out there and try to get it yourself, then you’ll spend a lot less time doing so. In fact, you’ll spend more time doing what you wanted to do. That makes sense to me.

At the risk of sounding like a self-help guru type person: it’s all about taking an active role in making things happen for you. I mean, if you don’t do it – nobody is going to be doing it for you.